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Neologisms ca. 1998

I edited this because I almost always do. I got this in e-mail. I'm not usually a proponant of "funny, funny email humor" - as it is just barely one step above "funny, funny, broadcast fax humor". I actually liked some of these - so I put them up here.

View document source to see the ones I didn't like.

:wq!

Blamestorming:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Body Nazis:
Hardcore exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

Seagull Manager:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits on everything and then leaves.

Chainsaw Consultant:
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Cube Farm:
An office filled with cubicles.

Idea Hamsters:
People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

Mouse Potato:
The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Squirt the Bird:
To transmit a signal to a satellite.

Starter Marriage:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Swiped Out:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

Tourists:
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."

Treeware:
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material, such as books.

Xerox Subsidy:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

Going Postal:
Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.

Alpha Geek:
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."

Chips and Salsa
Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."

Flight Risk:
Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.

Irritainment:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. e.g. Professional wresting.

Percussive Maintenance:
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Uninstalled:
Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.

My Stuff

As a post script - there are some words that I and people I know made up and sometimes use.
cafetorium
Pretty much like is sounds - a place to eat something that someone else describes as "food".

confustion
Confusion, frustration fusion.

horizontical
The noun/verb/adjective/adverb/interjection form of 'horizontal'.

in-a-gadda-da-meeting
Any meeting that could have been completed in half the time it actually took.

inclouding
Adding something in to a conversation or document expressly to confuse people. The opposite of Occam's Razor.

jumoing
I'm not sure what this means - but its fun to say. Take it to mean any fun, nebulous activity. 'I was just out jumoing around...'

narfistic
An idea or concept that works fine when you think about it - but is very difficult to express to someone else.

netula
A loose congoleration of web sites belonging to one company, but usually run by different people. Immense unlabled cross-linking makes navigating a netula effectively nigh impossible.

powerfun
An item that is fun beacuse it is powerful. Like a jackhammer.
Need more? There are some over at Demitria Monde Thraam's site.
Good luck, and keep English fresh and confusing!

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