I edited this because I almost always do. I got this in e-mail. I'm not usually
a proponant of "funny, funny email humor" - as it is just barely one step above
"funny, funny, broadcast fax humor".
I actually liked some of these - so I put them up here.
View document source to see the ones I didn't like.
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Hardcore exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits on everything and then leaves.
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
An office filled with cubicles.
People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Squirt the Bird:
To transmit a signal to a satellite.
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material, such as books.
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Chips and Salsa
Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
e.g. Professional wresting.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
As a post script - there are some words that I and people I know made up and sometimes use.
Pretty much like is sounds - a place to eat something that
someone else describes as "food".
Confusion, frustration fusion.
The noun/verb/adjective/adverb/interjection form of 'horizontal'.
Any meeting that could have been completed in half the
time it actually took.
Adding something in to a conversation or document expressly to confuse people.
The opposite of Occam's Razor.
I'm not sure what this means - but its fun to say.
Take it to mean any fun, nebulous activity. 'I was just out
An idea or concept that works fine when you think about it -
but is very difficult to express to someone else.
A loose congoleration of web sites belonging to one company, but
usually run by different people. Immense unlabled cross-linking makes
navigating a netula effectively nigh impossible.
An item that is fun beacuse it is powerful. Like a jackhammer.