Neologisms ca. 1998
I edited this because I almost always do. I got this in e-mail. I'm not usually
a proponant of "funny, funny email humor" - as it is just barely one step above
"funny, funny, broadcast fax humor".
I actually liked some of these - so I put them up here.
View document source to see the ones I didn't like.
- Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
- Body Nazis:
- Hardcore exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
- Seagull Manager:
- A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits on everything and then leaves.
- Chainsaw Consultant:
- An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
- Cube Farm:
- An office filled with cubicles.
- Idea Hamsters:
- People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
- Mouse Potato:
- The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
- Squirt the Bird:
- To transmit a signal to a satellite.
- Starter Marriage:
- A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
- Stress Puppy:
- A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
- Swiped Out:
- An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
- People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
- Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material, such as books.
- Xerox Subsidy:
- Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
- Going Postal:
- Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.
- Alpha Geek:
- The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
- Chips and Salsa
- Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
- Flight Risk:
- Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
- Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
e.g. Professional wresting.
- Percussive Maintenance:
- The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
- Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
As a post script - there are some words that I and people I know made up and sometimes use.
- Pretty much like is sounds - a place to eat something that
someone else describes as "food".
- Confusion, frustration fusion.
- The noun/verb/adjective/adverb/interjection form of 'horizontal'.
- Any meeting that could have been completed in half the
time it actually took.
- Adding something in to a conversation or document expressly to confuse people.
The opposite of Occam's Razor.
- I'm not sure what this means - but its fun to say.
Take it to mean any fun, nebulous activity. 'I was just out
- An idea or concept that works fine when you think about it -
but is very difficult to express to someone else.
- A loose congoleration of web sites belonging to one company, but
usually run by different people. Immense unlabled cross-linking makes
navigating a netula effectively nigh impossible.
- An item that is fun beacuse it is powerful. Like a jackhammer.
Need more? There are some over at Demitria Monde Thraam's site
Good luck, and keep English fresh and confusing!
This document is part of Incompetech.com.
©1998-2014 Kevin MacLeod